Behind the Smiles
Posted on 07. Feb, 2007 by dimaks in Life
I thought I would just be keeping this “strange-like” observation I have had since I started living in the Metropolitan Manila. But when I moved here in Japan for my PhD, it seems to me that I am still walking on the same grounds, bearing almost the same shadows of faces with mysterious smiles behind them. So this morning, I decided to just blog about it. Strange to me as it appeared, sometimes I also think that maybe this thing has its own reason and purpose.
You see, ever since I started working in the UP, I’ve been seeing people, sometimes while walking the streets, smiling to me. I would have felt naturally if I recall any occasion that I met them before. But no, I can assure you that those were first encounters.
I even had the feeling that maybe the guys were having some gender issues (yikes!) or the girls somewhat saw a celebrity (just kidding!). Often times, I just take my glance away from them. While at that juncture, so many things were playing in my head. “Is he/she some kind of a retard?” ..”Is he/she ok?” ..”Did he/she just smile on me?”. Now comes my stay in Japan. After a few months, I started seeing the same “strange-like” scenario. In fact, I’ve encountered it four (4) times already. And as usual, I repeated the same self-questions above. “What’s up with that?” I asked myself one time. “Do I look funny or what?” I didn’t really know if I should be worried or glad about it. I just pacified myself by thinking that maybe, they were just born naturally happy or maybe, suffering from some physical disorders? I guess, or maybe there is some hidden philosophy.
Until shortly, I came across an online forum where one of the members spoke about the mysteries of smile. He even pointed out about the good rewards of giving smiles to strangers, to any random person you come across your way. And it pays, he said. It gives an inner sense of peace and happiness. It lightens the day, he added. Upon learning this, I started to contemplate if those people I encountered along the way, carry such a mentality on smiles. That forumer guy even stressed that smile is the simplest and handy yet very meaningful gift you could give to anyone. And if I must quote John Kinde in his story:
Later, on my long drive home, I stopped at a fast-food restaurant for a quick bite. A 70ish woman waited by the condiment bar while her husband ordered. She glanced my way and smiled brightly. It was one of those smiles that broadcast, “I love life!”
I wasn’t going to let THIS opportunity pass – I was going to say SOMETHING. As I approached this woman from 30 feet away, her smile melted into a rather startled look; as if asking, “Did I do something wrong?” I walked over to her and simply said, “You have a wonderful smile!” Wow, did her face light up! And she responded with an enthusiastic, “Thank You”. My comment probably made her day, but it also made MY day. We truly exchanged gifts that afternoon.
I have a worry though. With the way how we look into other people’s attitudes nowadays (take me for example), smiling to random people might put you to a silent ridicule. Though with the pure intention of lightening up the day and sowing the spirit of peace and happiness, you may leave an impression that means otherwise. Worst, you may be taken as sarcastic. But as I see it, it will depend on how you develop the art of it – the art of delivering it “IF” you ever try. And such an art, I think, should in the first place, take off from one’s very own pure intention and spirit of giving, no matter how the receivers may treat it. After all, its a good deed, not to mention the healing miracle of smiles. Now, I told myself, I don’t care about it now. The thing is, I just got reminded about the noble essence of smiles and I will try to abide by it, upon my best.
Now I wonder if you ever came across with those random smiling faces while attending your daily life routines. What were your impressions or reactions? Did you smile today? For how long? To how many people? Did you give a gift today?
Lastly, John Kinde implied, smile with your eyes and not just your mouth. It’s much more appealing and sincere
O ngiti naman diyan!
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23 Comments to “Behind the Smiles”
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Dimaks is a part-time blogger born in Cotabato City, Southern Philippines. He loves a wide array of things: Martial arts, Scootering, Painting, Photography, Cooking and of course eating. Indulge with his blogging rounds!
rhodora
Feb 7th, 2007
Sabi ni KC Concepcion (anak ni Sharon Cuneta), who is in Paris pursuing her studies, (nabasa ko sa isang article sa newspaper na sinulat nya) – bihira daw ngumiti ang mga French. Pag nag smile ka daw sa isang di kilala, parang intimidated daw sila, they take it as sarcasm. Weird, noh?
dimaks
Feb 7th, 2007
@rhodora
I think it is also a cultural concern. Just like I heard sometime that some people shake their head from side to side for implying yes and up and down for implying no – which we usually do the opposite
verns
Feb 7th, 2007
When I’m out, I always try to look approachable and part of that look is basically having a cheerful face. I smile at little children in the mall. I smile at the guards. I smile at the daddies and the mommies when I see them scolding or teaching their kids the proper behavior (this usually happens inside the resto or in church). But this only happens when I’m not having a crappy day.
I also don’t mind people smiling at me. I don’t really find it weird. I even smile back (we’re both mental perhaps hehe) But I guess this depends on the kind of smile they give you. Meron kasing friendly, meron ding bastos..yung tipong nauuna pang tingnan ang you-know-what before ang face mo.
tina
Feb 7th, 2007
Basically, for a girl to smile at a guy would not be a good thing. It might send a different meaning to the person. Even if you want to smile dba? haha. wala lang.
ive read something about giving smiles to strangers…. its a good thing. pero…. depende din yan sa taong nag ismayl at sa receiver. haha
I smile to little kiddies.. and i try to look friendly.. whenever I go out. basically a “peaceful look” is what I have when I leave home. I SMILE A LOT in college where I know everyone.. but I dont smile to random strangers.. unless there is something to smile about.. (like something funny happened while in a jeepney and walking down the street.)
pining
Feb 7th, 2007
Hi Dimaks
you know when I first came here ( Britain) I use to smile a lot; some people smiled back, but most didn’t; they just gave me a funny look. Once we were in a mall, this woman smiled at me, I smiled back never realizing that she just want to sell me something (I was fooled). So from then on, I just choose who to smile to, save me the embarassment. I smile at Filipinos here (even if I don’t know them) because I know they’ll smile back. I know, I’m a miserable old bag, aren’t I? I’m dreading the day when I don’t smile at all!
dimaks
Feb 8th, 2007
@verns
I am even labeled by some as a snub but little do they know, I also laugh my heart out and yes, I always smile to kids too and they always return back the favor. They are just lovely and heartwarming. Hwag lang yung mga pasaway, headache yun.
In the first place, I donot look approachable
I’ve seen those kind of guys who smile with the intimidating look. Yung tipong 30 (or lower) degrees downward ang line of site
So yes, i guess it depends also on who gives the smile.
dimaks
Feb 8th, 2007
@tina
Ah, that kind of exchanging smiles is a different story hehe. You might end up misinterpreted. But what if, you like the guy?
I will be laughing out loud with this, if ever
dimaks
Feb 8th, 2007
@pining
I remember sometime near SM North, I gave a smile to a woman with 2 kids beside her. She smile back and told me in a soft tone, “pahingi naman po ng pamasahe pauwi”. Na-yari ako dun, lol. I know most of such are just modus, but I just gave her 10 pesos. From then on, medyo iwas na rin ako sa ganoong scene.
Miserable bag you may think but, I think you were just trying to be a willing gift-giver and it’s good
Wil
Feb 8th, 2007
I have the same experience. Sometimes people will smile at me and then I’m surprised. Why are they smiling at me?
pero, it seems they’re just trying to spread joy cguro. It’s better to smile than to look depressed or mad, di ba? hehe. Anyway, I’ve come to appreciate smiles, especially if it’s from a lady.
dimaks
Feb 8th, 2007
@Wil
Pwede rin may crush sayo ‘pag babae. Ang masama pag lalaki sya hehe.
Prab
Feb 8th, 2007
Nice article, dude. It also says somewhere that less facial muscles are used when one smiles as opposed to frowning. Sometimes I think the problem with most people is they regard others with suspicion. Just because a random person smiles at you doesn’t mean that the person wants something from you.
But then again, that random person must develop a genuine smile so as not to come across as sarcastic or some what-nots to the people they smile at.
dimaks
Feb 8th, 2007
@Prab
Thanks! On muscles being used in smiling and frowning, this article is worth visiting
Smile followed by a bothering stare will really mean different
Prab
Feb 8th, 2007
I agree, especially if it came from the person of the same sex. Lawl!
Richmond
Feb 8th, 2007
I fourth year guy called me today.. and i dont know him at all. i have an inkling that he once was our head nurse but I am not sure…
When were in first year.. our psychology professor made this really good activity… “the smiling activity” were we’ll smile to strangers ang list down their reactions… i love psyche.. lalo na nung hinypnotized kami… galeng.
Ms`Ma|ambing
Feb 9th, 2007
as for me, i don’t usually smile to strangers, when I’m walking on the street, i don’t look at people whom i come across with, deretso lang lague tingin ko eh.. sa dadaanan ko lang..
nde ako yung tipong kung san san nakatingin pag naglalakad.. hee^_^hee. i’m also tagged as “snub” kase nga pag may nag smile saken na guy (tinataasan ko ng isang kilay) lol.. o kaya dedma lang.
(taray noh? kunwari lang yun.. kase nga nakakagoyo yang mga smile smile na yan, kadalasan eh..)
what if yun makasalubong nyo eh, yung tipong smile ng smile tas nagsasalita mag isa? hehehe..
dimaks
Feb 9th, 2007
@Prab
Yes, and I hate those, lol.
dimaks
Feb 9th, 2007
@Richmond
I read somewhere about another kind experiments on smile. The students were given different kinds of photos of smiling and frowning individuals, then they were asked to show them to random people and jot down their reactions and observations.
With your future field of expertise, I suppose smile does a big role, doesn’t it?
dimaks
Feb 9th, 2007
@Ms`Ma|ambing
I agree, there are mysterious smiles. And we all try to avoid getting misinterpreted. Yung smile ng smile at nagsasalitang mag-isa, ibang usapan na yun.. baka kailangan na ng psychiatric intervention.
sasha
Feb 9th, 2007
Hard to smile to strangers nowadays kasi people will probably mistook you for a crazy person! Hahaha… Naku, people are so mistrustful these days. Kasi naman there are lots of wacko out there!
Pero I try to smile to some people who look kind and in need of some cheering up. And you know what, it really does wonders. May ganyan na akong experience, ako ang recipient ng smile
dimaks
Feb 9th, 2007
@sasha
True, its hard to give smiles to just anyone these days. I say, hang those wackos, lol. Kidding aside, I think having a very good intention counts in the eyes of God and you will surely be rewarded with the just compensation.
Michael
Feb 11th, 2007
smile and the whole world smiles with you =)
uwi ka na kuya ed, torture ako dito mag-isa =(
dimaks
Feb 12th, 2007
@Michael
Kaya mo yan.
Yo mike! give it a smile
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