Mayaman Vs Mahirap
Posted on 09. Mar, 2007 by dimaks in Life
Here’s to tag a post from my motorcycle ride buddy raredog on the subject of “Mayaman Vs Mahirap”. His joke time posts always give me a jolly day to spend all throughout. I even laugh alone in the bathroom upon recalling the jokes he posted. Good thing, I am able to hide my chuckles when reading the jokes while in my research lab. Although, sometimes the Japanese guy sitting next to me seems wondering why my table is shaking.
Here they are:
Kung mayaman ka, meron kang “allergy”
Kung mahirap ka, ang tawag dyan ay “galis” o “bakokang”Sa mayaman, “nervous breakdown” dahil sa “tension and stress”
Sa mahirap, “sira ang ulo”
Kung mayaman ka, “pneumonia” daw ang sakit mo
Kung mahirap, “TB” yonSa mayaman, “hyperacidity”
Kapag mahirap, “ulcer” dahil walang laman ang tiyanSa mayamang “malikot ang kamay”, ang tawag ay “kleptomaniac”
Sa mahirap, ang tawag ay “magnanakaw” o “kawatan”Pag mayaman ka, you’re “eccentric”
Kung mahirap ka, “may toyo ka sa ulo” o “may topak” o “may sayad”Kung mayaman ka at sumakit ang ulo mo, ikaw ay may “migraine”
Kung mahirap ka naman at sumakit ang ulo mo, ikaw ay “nalipasan ng gutom”Kung mayaman ka, you are referred to as someone who is “scoliotic”
Pero kung mahirap ka, ikaw ay “kuba”Kung ang señorita mo ay maitim, ang tawag ay “morena” o “sun tanned”
Pero kung isa kang domestic na maitim, ikaw ay “ita” o “negrita” o
“baluga”Kung nasa high society ka at ikaw ay maliit, ang tawag sa iyo ay “petite”
Kung mahirap ka lang, ikaw ay “pandak” o “bansot”Kung socialite ka, ikaw ay “pleasingly plump”
Kapag mahirap ka, ika’y “tabatsoy” o “lumba-lumba” …pagminamalas ka,
“baboy”Kapag mayaman, “fasting” ang hindi kumain
Kung mahirap, “nagtitiis”Kung well-off ka at date ka rito, date ka roon, ang tawag sa iyo ay
“socialite”
Kung mahirap ka, ikaw ay “pakawala” o “pok-pok”Kung mayamang alembong ka, ang tawag sa iyo ay “liberated”
Pero kung isa kang dukha, ang tawag sa iyo “malandi”Kapag mayaman, “misguided” o “spoiled” ka
Kung mahirap ka, “addict” o “durugista”Kung may pera ka, ang tawag sa iyo “single parent”
Pero kung wala kang trabaho, ang tawag sa iyo “disgrasyada”Kapag mayaman at sexy, “fashionable” daw
Kung mahirap, sigurado “GRO” o “japayuki” kaAng tawag sa mayayamang puro gulay ang kinakain, “vegetarian”
Habang kakaawa ang mahirap na ” kumakain ng damo.”Sa exclusive school, “assertive” ang mga batang sumasagot sa mga guro
Pero pag ang mga mahihirap na bata ang sumasagot sa mga guro, ang tawag sa kanila ay “bastos!”Ang mayamang tumatanda, “are graduating gracefully into senior
citizenhood”
Ang mga mahihirap ay “gumugurang”Ang anak ng mayaman ay “slow learner”
Ang anak ng mahirap ay “bobo” o “gung-gong”Kung mayaman ka at marami kang kumain, you flatter your host who says,
“masarap kang kumain and I like you, you do justice to my cooking”
Kung ghastly peasant ka eating the same amount in the same house, your
host will say to himself na ikaw ay “patay-gutom” , ang
“takaw”….. bla.bla.bla. ….Kung graduate ka ng exclusive school at sa ibang bansa ka nagtatrabaho,
ang tawag sa iyo “expat”
Kung mahirap ka lang, ikaw ay “contract worker”Kung boss ka at binabasa mo ito sa office mo, “okay lang”
Pero kung ikaw ay hamak na empleyado lamang, ikaw ay” nagsasayang ng working hours” …
You want more? Indulge raredog’s Joketime 101 (PS: If green jokes offend you, don’t proceed. Otherwise, enter at your own risk, hehe).
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Part-time blogger dimaks is involved in transport planning and research and is into Internet technology, PC games, digital photography, motorcycling and martial arts.. 
verns
Mar 9th, 2007
ay talaga! talagang nagsasayang ako ng oras bwahahahaahha
Jaypee
Mar 9th, 2007
ROFL.. this is so funny! Hehe
geri
Mar 9th, 2007
Exactly 5 hours?
tnx for the link love bro!
sexy mom
Mar 9th, 2007
hilarious!!! if you can make one for the japanese, that will sell. think about it
dimaks
Mar 10th, 2007
verns,
at least, am sure you had a good laugh
dimaks
Mar 10th, 2007
Jaypee,
indeed, bloggers need a good laugh hehe
dimaks
Mar 10th, 2007
geri,
YW. remember last time with the latest joketime 101? I could not finish reading them due to extreme laughter it caused. My tears even fell down, lol.
dimaks
Mar 10th, 2007
sexy mom,
but they laughed like for about 4 seconds or so, at least. Fair enough i think.
Ive tried translating (or you meant jokes about japanese?) some of the jokes to my Jap labmates and they don’t seem to laugh the way filipinos do
Alex
Mar 10th, 2007
Kapag ang batang mayaman makulit at malikot, siya ay may ADHD. Kapag mahirap, “otistik,” “abnoy” o “retarded.”
Kaya ako hanggang ngayon “abnoy” pa rin ako.
kathy
Mar 10th, 2007
hehe…nakakatawa, pero maraming totoo ron sa joke. yung context ng pagiging mahirap o mayaman, ang laki ng epekto sa pagtingin sa mga tao ano?
tingin ko sa mga tulad lang ng Pinas may ganitong klaseng jokes, para kasing langit at lupa ang diperensiya ng mahihirap at mayayaman.
tina
Mar 10th, 2007
Bwahahaa… pinoy talaga oo… ang daming “jokes”. nYhahaa.. nice set of jokes..
annamanila
Mar 11th, 2007
Sobrang enjoy naman yung post mo. At hindi ako nagsasayang ng oras sa pagblo-blog, just preparing for retirement. And I am petite, not a shortie; empathic, not makulit; deliberate, not slow; mellow not jurassic.
dimaks
Mar 11th, 2007
Alex,
gawa ng “abnoy”.
Ang naisip ko sa comment mo naman ay “penoy”
kathy,
Well, yun lang, there is really the reality side of it.
tina,
for the frozen jaws.
annamanila,
I didnt know there is the jurassic thing lol.
foobarph
Mar 15th, 2007
what the… haha ^_^
kapag mayaman, “pakiabot ng juice, please”
kapag mahirap, “pakibuhos nga yung juice sa tabo”.
(i’ll add you to my blogrolls list as well. keep it up)
dimaks
Mar 15th, 2007
foobarph,
that got me too! haha.. pero parang kadiri naman yung tabo. Ako kasi, hindi sa juice glass, sa pitsel lang na may maraming ice-cubes (para dumami). Thanks for adding me to your blogrolls ..will add you too.
badoodles.wordpress.com
Jun 8th, 2007
whew! buti na lang kahit matapobre ako, at least hindi poor. ha ha! biro lang po. astig ang mga posts! malupet.